Don't Stress Me Out, Sam

Just got off the phone with my tailor, who has been in possession of the most gorgeous wedding dress of all time since August 7th. He was out of town due to a passing of a cousin and then fell ill with the stomach flu! But he promises that he will be working on my dress and will call me at the end of this month or the first part of the next.

I asked him if I should come and pick up my dress and take it somewhere else, if that would be easier for him, and he said no no no, I'm going to do it. Really, Sam? Really? Promise me!!! PROMISE. Because the one big thing that needs to be there at the wedding - other than the people, of course - is the DARN DRESS!!

*this is my nervous face*

Time Flies

80 days.

Last night we had a big discussion - the biggest one yet - and we made a big decision. It was a decision I had already made in my heart, but one that we hadn't really talked about. And it needed to be talked about. So with that behind us, we move forward with love and a bright future.

I was supposed to drive down to Charlotte tomorrow to meet with the wedding coordinator but with the four consecutive weeks of travel that have just concluded, I cannot get from point A to point B right now. A phone conversation it is, and we will reach point B via telephone instead of in person.

I'm very tired. And I'm very overwhelmed. And life is quite messy, at the moment (literally and figuratively). But it is about to all change for the better, and I am so very, very, very excited about that. My heart is happy, even if my brain is on overdrive.

I should really be trying to eat better, too. That would help. That's always the first thing to go when life gets crazy.

The save the dates have long been sent. The invitations are sitting to my left, so beautiful and and perfect for us. The stamps are even there, just waiting to do their job. I love it! It's happening. This marriage that I've dreamt of. The funny thing, though, is that we are already living the marriage. What will change after we exchange vows? It will be official, and for some reason that matters to me so much. I will be his wife. He will be my husband. We will pronounce our love in front of God and the world.

For now, I must finalize with the caterer. I must track down my wedding dress - which is absolutely terrifying. The tailor was supposed to call me mid-September, and now it is October and he has not yet called. He needs a nudge, I suspect. I don't like that at all.

There are centerpieces to be finished and we have a plan to get the bridesmaids dresses and the flower girl/ring bearer suited up properly. I have so much done already, and I am so excited to finalize all of the details and then just ..... smoothly...... have the best wedding ever. Expectations may be a bit high. Aren't they always?

Leaving Stinks

I leave on Thursday for 18 days - a work trip. That is far, far too long to be away from Mr. Topolinski. xo

Registered!

So, did you know you can actually complete your wedding registry online at Bed Bath & Beyond? Yep.

Done and DONE!

Save the Date Madness

The big pressure since finding - AND BUYING! - the perfect dress has been the Save the Date cards. Patrick, rightfully, has placed utmost importance on these little cards, particularly since we are getting married at a time when folks are planning vacations and holiday extravaganzas. Initially, I didn't want to do Save the Dates. I don't want to do a lot of the (new) traditional things, but upon further and more rational consideration, I agreed with him. These are important if we want to give our guests a fair opportunity to attend our super fun and extremely beautiful wedding in North Carolina!

But if you're going to do Save the Dates, you need a picture - right? So that was a big hold-up for quite awhile. We aren't together very often these days, in the heat of the summer when the racing schedule is in full swing. I'm gone 90% of the time, and almost every single weekend, for work. This past weekend, however, I knew I would be home and that the weather would be great - so I knew, too, that we had to do the pictures this weekend. 

We got creative and brought my little point and shoot with a self-timer out with us on a very hot day. We drove down a tree-shaded lane and parked, trying to get shots in the middle of the road. But cars kept coming. And it was a little creepy. And on a grade that was a bit steeper than I thought it would be, so the camera was balanced not-so-safely on a blanket. Oh, and I was in a terrible mood without good reason. It wasn't really working.

And then we went to a historic park that was the site of a lookout hill in the Battle of Franklin in 1864, and hit gold. We ran around and got super hot and sweaty, but the very last photo we took was the perfect picture; we are sitting (seemingly) calmly on a bridge in a shaded wooded area, and thanks to some minor color treatment to the photo, you can hardly notice the thin film of sweat we are both wearing. 

We went to a nice dinner and cooled off after the photo adventure, and then later that night we chose the photo, made it pretty, and ordered Save the Dates. 

Then the real work began - truly determining the guest list. Late last night we refined our guest list and we are GOOD TO GO! Addresses must be obtained before the Save the Date cards arrive and can be mailed to the potential wedding guests, but that should be easy in comparison to the task of whittling down the guest list. One can hope. :) 

So. Much. Progress.

The world of work is awaiting my presence, but for right now, I would simply like to take this moment to appreciate all that has been accomplished in terms of moving forward with the wedding plans.

Photographer we love? BOOKED!
Beautiful wedding dress in my possession? YES!
Wedding shoes in hand? DONE!
Cute and clever cocktail napkins? HERE!

The photographer was a little more than I had anticipated. Doesn't that ring true for just about everything?

The dress, though..... oh my heavens. I could not be happier. My two beautiful cousins accompanied me to the boutique and helped me pick out dresses to try on, and I tried on a selection but found nothing that was quite right. And then, AND THEN, the owner of the salon had me try on one that fit the bill. I cried a little. My cousins ohhed and ahhed, appropriately and supportively. I bought the dress that very day and drove it home! Of course it had to travel with me to a race before we could make it to home, but we finally made it. We've already had an adventure together, me and my beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, happy wedding dress. I can't wait for Patrick to see it. He will be wowed, which is, of course, the much desired result. Such success! Now to have it fitted and to have my grandma's pearls restrung. I think they will look nice together. So happy!

We have to do save the dates, and we have to do them LIKE NOW! But first we have to finalize the guest list, which seems to be the most difficult of all. We've not yet secured the caterer but that is because I'm not super pleased with the menu although the flavor of their food is divine. I just don't want a sit-down, and it seems that we are going round about that. We shall see how it works out. I might change course all together and go with a different caterer, but this one was one that we know for certain we liked. A little pricey, and a little non-flexible, but..... we will see.

Must work now! Time is of the essence!

xo ~ SoonToBe Mrs. PT

Full Meltdown Status

I know this is shocking, but once we had decided the venue and even TOLD them that we had decided to use their beautiful facility, I had a really hard time actually taking the steps to finalize the process. Brandy sent us the contracts, including the separate contract for her services as our coordinator, and with the contract came the part about how you have to put down 50% of the venue cost and almost all of the coordinator fees. To see those giant numbers staring me in the face, well, to say that I was overwhelmed would be a massive understatement. Massive. Those numbers are big, and they are scary, and I don't have that kind of money just sitting in a coffee can on the fridge. Who does. AND they aren't even all inclusive! There are still the vendors to consider, and food and booze could likely cost a great deal.

Excuse No. 1:

I couldn't make our printer work. True story. Suddenly, and although I had used it for several other print jobs lately, it would not cooperate. It needed magenta ink, and it wasn't going to print anything not even in grayscale - until I loaded it with magenta. Dear printer, you make no sense. However, I was grateful for the excuse to not commit at that moment.

Excuse No. 2:

I'm just so busy. Who has time to figure out how to print all those pages, sign them, address an envelope, stamp said envelope, and then - gasp - take all the time to walk out to the mailbox and put the flag up? Who has that time?! Certainly not I.

Excuse No. 3 (and the beginning of the spiral towards meltdown status):

What if we suddenly and inexplicably have to move from NC before the wedding? Would it really make sense to get married in NC? Maybe we shouldn't get married there after all. That would be crazy. Life is uncertain. Who knows what can happen.

Excuse No. 4 (full on meltdown and the exposure of the root of the issue):

HOLY SHIT WE CANNOT AFFORD TO GET MARRIED. WHAT WERE WE THINKING? DID YOU SEE HOW MUCH THIS IS GOING TO COST? YES I WANT TO MARRY YOU, BUT NO I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL. Let's elope. Wait. I don't mean that. I don't know what I mean. *tears* *tears* *tears* *tears* *sob* *sniffle* *more tears*

And then we talked. He told me that this is the most special day of our lives, that we only get to do this once and that we were doing it right. He told me, "You're worrying about the wrong shit, baby." To which I replied, "Well someone has to worry about it!" But he talked me through it, talked about how we could save in other areas to balance it out a bit better than it seemed at face value, talked about how we were already doing that. I don't even remember all that we talked about or exactly what he said, all I really remember is that even though I still felt scared about the money - terrified! - I felt like it was possible and that it was going to be okay. 

All of this in the Wal-Mart parking lot on a Tuesday evening as we sat in the truck watching people in jammie pants entering and exiting the store. Apparently people in NC wear jammie pants to Wal-Mart when it's cold out.

When we got home, we determined our budget and where that money was going to come from. He volunteered to print out the contracts at work, and the next day I called Brandy to give her the payment information and let her know the contracts were on the way.

Done and done.

I do remember one thing that he said to me that night in the truck. He told me that if I was going to worry about things to this extent, it was going to take away from how special our day was supposed to be. He's right. I don't want that to happen. This is supposed to be beautiful and special, and the whole reason we got a coordinator was to take away so many of those worries that I would surely be feeling if I was trying to do it all. It will be a challenge not to freak out. I truly see that now. But I so don't want to spoil this day - not for me, not for him, not for anyone. I want it to be memorable for all of the right reasons.

Deep breaths!